Top 10 Worst Master System Games
So, here’s the other side of the coin. We covered the best, the pinnacle of Sega Master System games. Here’s the worst, the nadir if you will. Some of these are so bad they barely qualify as games. So, here’s as the bottom of the barrel as you can get.
#10: F-16 Fighting Falcon
I thought for sure this was going to be the worst of the worst. I hated this game with a fiery passion, and every time I tried to play it I’d get about five minutes in and just give up because it is so boring and fiddly to play. From the screenshot you can see it’s sort of like After Burner, if all the charm, graphics, and ease of control were stripped out. the main problem with the game is you need both controllers to play it. Controller 1 controls your plane and shoots your weapons, Controller 2 does everything else relating to your instrument panel there on the screen. There’s no music, just the drone of the engine as you slowly look for targets to down. Fun Fact(?): This game is the only game on the Master System to use the SG-1000 hardware to run, so if you try to play this on a Genesis with a Master System Converter, it won’t even start up. Not a big loss.
#9: Ace of Aces
Oh look, another flight simulator. And holy jumping shitballs this game is somehow worse than F-16 Fighting Falcon. This was a European release, as will be the majority of the games on this list (More games released in the region leaves more room for garbage to pop up you see). It starts with what was to me a confusing menu where you need to select the weapons and load out of the plane. At least with F-16 Fighting Falcon you pressed start and it took you right into the game. Then you get to the actual flying part and you see the instrument panel takes up a little more than half the screen and it’s also fiddly to control. You also have the same objective, shoot down enemy planes. The only sound during the mission is the plane’s engine, which sounds like a single low note being rapidly repeated over and over again. Doesn’t even sound like anything engine related.
#8: Xenon 2-Megablast
Here’s a game that when you start it up, seems like it will be cool. The title music is nice, but as soon as you press start to get the game going, everything goes downhill very quickly. The game, as you can see, is a vertical scrolling shooter, though scrolling is being used very generously here. The game moves in literal single digit frames per second making it feel more like a slide show. the hit detection is way off, and when you scroll the screen from side to side, enemy bullets follow you and almost track. The soundtrack is good but the single song in the game will grate on you quickly. Another one from Europe, this was a port of an Amiga game which was far better. At least it ran at 50fps instead of like… 5. and 5fps is being very generous.
#7: Champions of Europe
And here we are, of course it’s from Europe since it’s a Football (Soccer) game with official branding. There’s a bunny mascot and everything. This was released to tie in with the UEFA Euro 1992 tournament and the game doesn’t play very well. As you can see in the picture the players are tiny, and for me, it was very confusing to play. There’s no music and very little sound during the game and for me, it’s just boring as hell. I’m not a fan of sports games unless they play with the rules a little like NBA Jam, the Mutant League Series, and NFL Blitz. This being a straight up Football Simulation doesn’t make it any fun to me in the slightest. Even if you like Football games there’s plenty of better options out there for the Master System.
#6: Back to the Future Part III
It’s just an 8-bit version of the same shitty 16-bit version where the first level is 99% impossible. It’s Doc Brown on a horse having to dodge random objects with almost no reaction time while the worst rendition of “Ghost Riders in the Sky” drones on. Plus, it’s timed so if you mess up too many times you have to start the level over again. Even if you get past this stage, the game doesn’t suddenly become more fun. It’s just a very frustrating experience that was made as difficult because they only programmed in 4 levels. Take everything you heard about how bad the Genesis version was and just repeat it here.
#5: World Class Leaderboard
U.S. Gold and Tiertex team up to spit-roast you with no lube or nice dinner beforehand. The two companies mentioned mainly did ports to the Master System and they all were of pretty poor quality so seeing them team up sets you with a feeling of dread before you even press the start button. Starting the game it’s like the other games on this list: Dreadfully boring. Plus, they messed up the swing mechanic that most golf games have. Most golf games have a clear meter where you press a button to build power, then press a button again as the arrow comes back to make sure it goes straight. This one has that meter on the side where only half of the top part fills up when you press the button, then comes down and the whole bottom part goes for you to make sure you hit the ball straight. It’s very confusing and makes it unnecessarily difficult. How come Golf on the NES was able to nail this but so many other golf games in the 8-bit era tried to do it different and ended up ruining it? At least it draws the game screen in more quick than other golf games on the system.
#4: Summer Games
Here’s the first in Epyx’s “Games” series, which are basically mini game collections where you mash buttons in uncreative and boring ways. I never found these games fun, and these are pretty much the same basic bitch Olympic events you can find a dime a dozen on any of these kinds of games. You got Pole Vault, 100M Dash, Gymnastics, National Handjob Championships, Platform Diving, and 100M Freestyle. Most of them you just press the buttons, others you have the press the buttons, but with frame perfect timing. Doesn’t bring anything to the table, and the fact it’s their first game isn’t getting them off the hook. Treasure’s first game was Gunstar Heroes. What’s Epyx’s excuse? (One of those events listed is fake, see if you can find it. If you can, write it down on a piece of paper and throw it in the trash.)
#3: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
The other games were the bottom of the barrel. This is when you lift the barrel up and see the little bugs and worms wiggling around in the dirt under it. Where do I begin? Here’s a big one. If you make a Platformer game, please, please don’t put fall damage in it. It’s not fun, it’s not conducive to the flow of game-play, and if the argument is it’s “realistic” we play video games to get away from that kind of shit. And not only is the fall damage in this game pretty bad, you actually start loosing health mid fall instead of it being taken away when you land. So conceivably you could fall long enough you’d die in mid air before you even hit the ground. No music, of course, we can’t have any jams interrupting our slog though the game. Oh, here’s another rule if you are making a Platformer. For the love of God, Buddha, whatever, put some kind of post hit invincibility in your damn game please. But having your life drained in a second by getting too friendly with an enemy sprite is a pretty common staple in European games, Much like the no music during the game thing. The other games on this list were boring and frustrating, but now we’re getting into the territory of where the developers actually dislike you. Also, you don’t start with Indy’s whip. You have to find it. You know, the thing he’s known to have on him at all times?
#2 : Back to the Future part II
And now we’ve gone from the developers simply disliking you to outright despising you and wanting to make you suffer for playing their game. This game is abysmal and I think actively cheats because I remember dying at the same place over and over again, and having no idea how it happened. The only thing going for this game is it has a nice rendition of the main theme to the movie, and that’s it. otherwise it’s you on a hoverboard in an auto scroller dodging obstacles and enemies. There are other levels, hell if I know what they are since i never got past this first level. Just a very rude and hateful game. Much like Indiana Jones, Marty McFly never had good luck with video games either.
#1: Mickey’s Ultimate Challenge
The final level in this game is a timed sliding puzzle. Fuck you Mickey, right in your diseased cheese hole.
